i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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