Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
its liver damage thursday
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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