that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
