My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
