For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
