Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
