of course. lets lasso hookers.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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