So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you never un-have a 4some
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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