just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
