he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
