I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
