Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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