question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
