That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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