I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
