the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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