I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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