is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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