Don't you send me to vm
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
