I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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