So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
