The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
