I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I checked into jail on foursquare
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
