Whod you bang
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
