Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
