I'm going to jail i love you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
