i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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