She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
