I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She's the barista slut.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
