just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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