I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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