yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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