thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
