butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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