im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
