my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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