he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize