Duck Duck Cougar?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Boobs are out for the taking
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
