Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
