turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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