literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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