so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
