Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
