He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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