help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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