There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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