She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just googled if crying burns calories
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
