I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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