Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
