Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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