And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
