You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
