he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
