just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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