He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
