i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
