i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
