Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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