So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
