Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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