It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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