Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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